"If you’re undetectable then you’re practically uninfectious".
"We were on a date and having some dinner and it just came to the point of disclosure, where I tell him. So, I said ‘yes, I’m positive, I’m undetectable’. His face changed completely. It was so painful to see how his face reacted. It hurts. He started with the questions: ‘Are you a promiscuous boy? With how many boys have you had sex? How did you get it?’ He wasn’t informed about anything at all."
Craig’s experiences will resonate with a lot of HIV-positive gay guys. On account of avoiding more exposure to the stigma associated with being HIV positive he has asked to use a pseudonym. Having been on three dates, he made a judgement call about the guy he was seeing, that disclosing his HIV status would be fine, that he would be safe from prejudicial attitudes and that his date knew what it meant to be HIV and undetectable. His trust was misplaced.
"I learned a lot off that experience," says Craig, reflecting on his date’s dismay and incredulity. "It’s not a big drama, it’s not a big thing for me. Why do I have to tell him, that I’m undetectable and I have HIV